Orange is the New Black

I had heard a ton about this show via facebook, word of mouth, or just internet browsing, so upon my return to the US I was excited to give it a shot.  Here is a brief description of the characters listed on this promo. From left to right......

A- Creepy mild rapist guard that has a porn stash and only got to be in one season of The Wire (character may or may not be alive)
B- Girl from American Pie that plays the same part in every show/movie.  She is always so wise and seems to have her shit together/ The other girl is a Long Island Madonna that kinda grows on you.
C- Meth mouth bible thumper from backwoods Kentucky
D- Street smart, rapping black stereotype/ Tom Cruise new girlfriend????  Actually one of the better characters on the show, at least most realistic
E- Main Character- You, or at least me, really grow to dislike her.  Her character flip flops personality on a whim.  Never stays true to whatever she is supposed to be.
F- Crazy eyed black woman// Fun loving, institutionalized younger woman, also one of the better characters on the show
G- A mob boss wife type that runs the prison or at least the kitchen.  She's a good egg.
H- Transsexual that does everyone's hair, seems to do a pretty good job at it// Not sure how this woman made the promo, she is not a top 10 character........
I- The ole women's prison, women's prison guard love story, tale as old as time.  UGH

That quickly sums up what I think about the characters on this show.  They range from interesting, tell me more, to I hope she gets killed off at the end of every episode.  I didn't even get to mention that American Pie sex machine Jason Biggs is also in the cast.

Intended Audience:  Orange is the New Black was created by the same people that did Weeds, so you know it is going to have some good parts that both sexes can enjoy.  That being said this show is catered to a female audience.  Guys you will get some boobs here and there and a good story angle from time to time, but mostly this show was not intended for the Y chromosome.

Where to Find It: Netflix original, so I would start there
Seasons: 1 down, season 2 starts June 9th

Show Synopsis:  An uptight, not that much fun, fad dieting, no risk taking (ok, she is trying to start a business, but they are getting money from his parents so how risky is having that kinda cushion), boring, lack of personality, good looking, uptown, white girl......HAS A PAST, and that past is getting her sent to prison.  The focus of the show is around her time in jail and how it effects the ones she loves.  A much better part of the show centers around how each of the inmates came to find themselves in jail.

My Review:  I do want to talk about our main character for a second.  When we meet her she is sympathetic and experiencing her first days in prison.  I was on board, who wouldn't be terrified, from that point on she does so many things to make you not like her (or at least me).  She gets strong and brave and does not give two sh*ts, she is terrified, shes tough, shes weak, shes smarter than everyone else, she's aloof, she's confused, she's in love, she's sad.  This range of emotion and character flip flop is more than anything Bill Shakespeare could have dreamed up.  Here is the part that really grinds my gears.  In a flashback, when she first meets leading man Jason Biggs, she comes into an apartment all cute and fun and playing hard to get.  She has just been bitten by a dog and really couldn't care less;  is more focused on flirting with this stranger that is house sitting for her best friend. Again, I was on board.  Fast Forward to scenes of their relationship, and she is now a whole foods, gluten free, lemon cleanse dieting, b*tch.  People don't change their personality that much in 1 year, they just don't. Not 100% sure why I get so fired up, but much like Weeds this could be a really good show and the main character went from extremely likable to dreadful.

Season Finale:  Some stuff happened.......I am sure we will find out about it at the start of Season 2, which I will watch, I am a masochist.

Eye Candy  Fellas you are going to get a lot of boobs at the start of the show.  This is a trap, it does not continue.  Ladies its even worse for you.  You have porn stache, pie f*cker, and that is about it to look at. The in love security guard is in pretty good shape.  I am not even going to post pictures of them because you are not tuning in for that.

In Summary: Watch this show when you are bored or have about 45 minutes to kill.  I can list about 30 shows to watch before this one, but its most likely not as bad as I am saying it is.  I just had high hopes. One thing Orange is the New Black has going for it is the end of each episode really does make you want to put the next one on right away.  Its a solid C, maybe even a C+.